


how i met ur mom

by xocberry



Series: r.a.m.y.u.n & chill [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bromance, EXO - Freeform, Flowers, Humor, KrisHo - Freeform, Language of Flowers, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, Smut, Texting, chat fic, idk yet, kpop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-01-06 06:23:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12205629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xocberry/pseuds/xocberry
Summary: The second part of "i can take u places" (the xiuchen fic). This one focuses on krisho (hence the title). Oops.





	1. vocabulary

**Author's Note:**

> oh yay. another one.

goddammit

 

?

language, mister

 

well maybe it’s time for u to expand ur 

FUCKING vocabulary

 

my vocabulary is quite vast without ur foul language

excuuuuse me

 

ur excused

 

gosh darn it


	2. what a mom thing to say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pls don't be offended by any terrible (mom-related) jokes or puns written in this fic. krisho are the parents, sooooo of course im gonna use suho's mom-ness here. i love moms and think they're great. LOL.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for clarification (for those who read "i can take u places" first), this takes place befoooore the first part in the series does.   
> Each part has its own timescale thingy, so they don't follow the same stories necessarily. They will be very similar and certain events will still happen *cough* dinner party at xiuchen's *cough* ship robbing pirates *cough cough* kitchen sex *cough* what? *cough*.   
> but this fic does not happen AFTER "i can take u places" ends. i'm starting from before the krisho ship even sails and will focus mostly on krisho ;)

kris, why r u so mean to me?

 

well that’s a way to start the day…

 

what do u mean start the day?

it’s already the afternoon

 

well my day just started

 

i told u to drink more responsibly

 

but that’s not the point in drinking

u drink to wash away all responsibilities and let loose

 

that’s how u end up dead

or in prison

 

okay okay

that almost happened

_almost_

i didn’t actually get arrested

just questioned

 

yeah, after u were brought to the station

like what kind of drunk r u even?

 

u would know if u joined me one of these days

 

hmmm…tempting, but i’d rather keep my brain cells

 

what a mom thing to say

 

what is that even supposed to mean???

 

the way u worry about me is so like a mom

 

who said i was worrying about u?

 

and ur the one who thinks _i’m_ mean to u?

 

ugh

why do i even bother with u

why do i even respond to ur messages

why do i even talk to u

 

“why do i even know u”

“why do i even exist”

“why am i having an existential crisis”

“why am i going through menopause”

“when is my eighth child going to return home???”

 

-.-

kris, why do u view me as a woman?

 

i dont

 

then why?

 

cuz ur fun to tease

 

im not

 

oh?

 

yeah.

 

well maybe if u went out with me one of these nights…

and actually had some fun…

u wouldn’t be so mom like

and i wouldn’t tease u so much for it

 

fun does not mean alcohol, u know

we could do something other than drink

 

then what’s the point?

 

exactly.

this is why u rarely see me

our ideas of fun don’t align

 

why are we even friends?

 

friends?

 

if not, then what r we?

 

acquaintances, maybe

 

well that’s no good

how do i raise my status?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im actually quite anti-alcohol, but it really makes for a good fic enhancement. i don't drink, but it's sure interesting to write about it. 
> 
>  
> 
> (c'mon kris, get yo mannnn)
> 
> im still really sick (i have been for the past week) and in midterm season, so let's hope i can write coherently lololol


	3. f a s h i o n

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do y'all even remember me? ;-;
> 
> I update so infrequently...just one more week (and 2 days) and i will be dropping daily updates again 
> 
> B-)

hurry

which outfit

[IMG attachment]

[IMG attachment]

 

oh

uh

 

just choose

 

what for?

 

date

 

date?

 

um yeah

what of it

 

with who?

 

doesn’t matter

just help me pick the outfit

 

they both look good

 

ik

that’s why I’m struggling here

 

um

then the first one

i guess

 

“i guess”?

ur a photographer, yifan

u should know these things

a f a s h i o n photographer, might i add

which one looks good?

 

~~ _u look good_ ~~

uhh

second one

 

good choice

i was planning on wearing that one anyway

 

then why ask me???

 

¯\\_( ツ )_/¯

who knows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment or something so i know that people still acknowledge my existence here  
> (school is stressful and i need validation rn lol)
> 
> <3


	4. do u like her?

knock knock

open up

 

im not home

 

（￣ ^ ￣）

wat

 

i just left

going to the store

i ran out of food

 

turn around

come back

 

what happened to ur date?

 

this is the date

LOL

 

?

fuck u

 

language

 

idc

 

no but srsly

i need u to come with me

my date bailed

stood me up

 

no way

 

yes way

i feel awful

 

do u like her?

 

uhhh

no?

they weren’t really…

uh

not really

 

then y do u feel bad?

 

cuz i wanted to go with someone

 

where?

 

opening of a new sushi restaurant

 

fancy

 

indeed it is

i need u to dress up well and come with

i’ll drive

 

lemme think about it

 

i’ll pay

 

im in

i’ll be there in less than 5

 

dude the store is just down the street

what’s gonna take u more than 1 minute?

 

if it’s a date, i gotta bring some flowers

;)

 

oh my gosh

what a good friend, u are

 

the fucking best

 

language, mister

 

but u agree, don’t u?

 

yeah sure

the best


	5. ur distracting me from death

bro i ate too much

cant breathe

 

same

brb dying

 

no don’t die

ur too young

_kajima_

 

srry cant help it

it’s my time

see u on the other side

 

…

suho?

u there?

u ok?

ummm

dude it’s been like 20 minutes

where the hell did u go

bro

suho

babe

wait

not babe

damn auto correct

 

babe?

 

yes?

 

no, not _babe,_ babe

im questioning what the heck u typed that auto corrected to babe

 

o

 

?

 

was gonna write ‘baby bro’

 

im hardly any younger than u

why would i be a baby bro

 

we could be 2 minutes apart and u’d still be a baby bro

 

what even is this conversation

ur distracting me from death

 

were u dying?

 

yes.

until u said babe and freaked me out

 

why’d it freak u out?

babe

 

oh god stop it

it’s weird

u cant call me that

 

well it wasn’t my intention to 

(´ω ｀。 )

babe

 

pls stop

ew

 

why ew?

 

why question it?

we’re friends

friends don’t call each other babe

 

well some do

and it was an accident

i didn’t realize it triggered u this much

 

im not triggered

just

uhhh

 

just what?

 

u know what?

never mind

just forget this ever happened

im gonna delete these messages and go back to dying

 

suho, babe, ur overreacting

 

S T O PS A Y I N GT H A TW O R D

 

okay okay

sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brb while i add "light angst" to the tags. jk


	6. is that advice?

hey

sorry for being so weird last night

i know it was just an accident and i got too upset over nothing

im just sensitive rn

cuz i got stood up and then we went on a ‘date’

when u accidentally sent that word, i thought like

u know…

that maybe u read into our ‘date’ and that there was something more to our friendship

if u wanna call me baby bro, u can

sorry for freaking out over such a stupid thing

god i feel like such an idiot

 

hi

 

im so fucki—

 

what if i wan—

OMFG U WERE GONNA SWEAR

WHO ARE U?

AND WHAT DID U DO WITH SUHO?

 

SORRY I JUST GOT REALLY FRUSTRATED WITH MYSELF

THANK U FOR INTERRUPTING MY CORRUPTION

 

it’s not corruption, suho

swear if u want

i do

all the fucking time

 

it’s vulgar

 

it’s calming

 

:/

 

try it

 

f…

 

dude, u already started

u basically already said the word

 

fuck

fuck you

 

oh wow

rude, much?

 

u told me to

¯\\_( ツ )_/¯

 

im corrupting ur innocence

this is too soon

u should’ve started with something small

take little steps to accomplish ur goal

 

why take small steps when i can just go all the way in one go?

 

is that advice?

 

what do u mean?

 

should i just go all the way and skip the small steps?

 

um

sure?

idk what ur meaning rn, kris

is something up?

something on ur mind?

 

hell yeah there is

brb

 

ok?


	7. that's a "bye for now"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry

dude

kris

it’s been like 20 minutes

that’s not a “be right back”

that’s a “bye for now”

o

someone’s knocking on the door

BRB

like actually brb

cuz i WILL be right back

unlike someone

:<

bro i see u reading my messages

im not dumb

 

“But you are damn salty,” the taller says once Suho opens his front door.

 

“W-what are you doing here? Why are y—“ The younger is silenced by a pair of lips meeting his. Eyes wide open, Suho paralyzes in shock.

 

Kris wraps his arms around the smaller boy and continues the kiss, eyes tightly pinned shut.

 

The kiss is awkward and too long for comfort. The elder doesn’t know what to do and the younger is unresponsive throughout.

 

Stepping back, Kris opens his eyes just as the shorter’s palm makes contact with his cheek in one swift, powerful movement.

 

“What the fuck was that, Wu Yifan?”

 

Kris can feel his stinging cheek begin to throb in pain. He winces at the smaller’s icy tone.

 

“Get out.” 

 

No response.

 

“Get the fuck out of my house before you regret it,” Suho demands.

 

The taller slowly turns and exits after his short and unwelcome visit.

 

He already regrets it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like really. sorry. lol
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> merry christmas? xP


	8. i guess i need an exorcist now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this series just recycles that exorcism joke just saying xP

hey

im sorry

ok?

like seriously

i dont know what possessed me

i guess i need an exorcist now?

but anyways

im REALLY sorry

i dont even know why i did that

im not even gay or anything

ive only ever had girlfriends

ive never (wanted to) kiss a guy

im so sorry

dont hate me

dont think im gross

idk what took over

all of a sudden i was just thinking of u

and 

and then thoughts consumed

i blanked dude

i don’t even remember the drive to ur place

next moment i was standing at ur door

then u were there

and there was no turning back

but dude i don’t even like u that way

I AM SO FUCKING CONFUSED

oh sorry

language

my bad

IM JUST REALLY FLIPPING CONFUSED

IDK WHAT TO DO

CAN U PLS FORGIVE ME

AND LETS JUST

forget this ever happened

im sorry for doing that to u

ive never done it before

im sorry

 

its so obvious

 

?

what is?

 

that it was ur first time

 

what?

 

kissing a guy

 

isn’t it just the same?

 

bro ur so awkward about it

 

says u

and why r u now critiquing the way i kiss???

 

oh man

i hope thats not the way u kiss

normally

i feel sorry for all ur “girlfriends” of the past now

L O L

 

well now that ur making fun of me

are we g now?

 

uhhh

i guess

pls dont do that ever again

like wtf

srsly

i scrubbed my mouth a good ten dozen times

 

rude

 

says the one who forcibly kissed another guy

 

whats wrong with kissing guys?

 

U SAID IT URSELF THAT UR NOT GAY

ur confused?

now im confused bro

 

wow

 

oh

and btw

next time u wanna do that kinda thing

don’t.

 

dont worry

i dont plan on it

 

good

 

okay

 

fine

 

im still sorry

ur my best friend

i dont wanna ruin that

with this stupid mistake

 

it’s ok

friendship not ruined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i mean, if u read pt 1 of r.a.m.y.u.n & chill, you know the outcome of these two.....SOOOOOOOO dont hate me <3
> 
> not all relationships start out peachy


	9. thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was my birthday yesterday (❁´◡`❁)
> 
>  
> 
> i didnt do anything for it (・へ・)

for how long r u gonna ignore me?

 

for how long r u gonna consume my thoughts?


	10. cuddles and all that good shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> midterm tomorrow and yet i posted 3 different things today LOL

fuck this

i dont regret anything

i like you, ok?

timing sucks

but what the hell

now it’s out there

 

me too

 

you what?

 

me too

i think

 

??!?!?

 

do i really need to say this?

 

um. yes.

 

i dont know what im feeling rn

confusion, i can recognize

but do i like u?

i think i might?

do i want to?

idk

 

do u wanna try it out?

like a test run?

 

i feel like i really will fall for u if i do that

 

then why not?

 

…

 

\--

 

**XIUMIN (L) AND SUHO (R)**

 

help

 

what happened now bby

 

it’s kris

 

did u realize ur feelings?

 

wat

 

oh nvm

what’s happening bro

 

he asked if we should try dating

like being a couple

like…

 

accepting that ur freaking into guys?

 

…yeah

no

maybe

yes

 

there’s nothing wrong with it

being with other _m a l e s,_ that is

ive been with some

like lu

 

lu is an exception

 

r u tryna say lu aint a boi

he’s a man all right

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

ugh min

pls dont

 

srry

cant help it

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ok had to get that one out of my system

 

lol

 

idk what the problem is here tho

u got a real fine mans wanting to care for u

and love u

and give u cuddles and all that good shit

 

yeah but he’s my best friend

 

those can make the best romantic companions

u both already know each other

there’s trust

there’s humor

there’s attraction?

 

possibly

 

which means yes lol

 

u suck

 

and that i do

 

min pls

 

lololol

deal with it

u came to me

dont forget that

( ๑ •̀ ㅁ •́ ๑ )

 

ok ok

so what do i say?

shit went down some time ago

 

oh?

interesting

 

yeah i don’t wanna talk about it

 

then let it go

if it was bad for u, it’s probs bad for him too

 

i guess

 

dude

if u came to me for advice, i bet u already know ur answer

u just needed someone to talk to before u accept, yes?

 

…

 

yup yup

well there u go

bro i bet this is gonna be the best fucking decision of ur life

i dont know much about him

but from ur stories, u two r too cute

 

shit

im gonna do it

 

YES YOU

GO SUHO

I BELIEVE IN U

YOU GOT THIS BRO

 

\--

 

**KRIS (L) AND SUHO (R)**

 

let’s do it

let’s go out

 

so ur accepting my idea of a test run?

 

no

let’s do it for real

 

what…

 

kris

will you go out with me?

**Author's Note:**

> ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ


End file.
